Whelp...another year, another lack of blogs....I was doing ok the first part, but then things got busy with my mom's estranged husband, finding her a lawyer, etc. etc ec.  Since he lied so much on the papers he filed with the court that he may have a nice vacation in the County Hotel in his future.  And when I say lied.....WOWZA!  Once this whole situation is over, I'll able to talk more. For now, he's a liar and we have proof.

Moving on.........

As soon as this whole mess is over with, we (Mom, Daniel, Deanna and I) have decided to all move in together.   Deanna worries about Mom and I all by ourselves and what would happen if one or both of us got hurt.  Not to mention that she worries we aren't eating right, taking care of ourselves, being safe...etc.  Moving in will allow her to feel better about things and remove that particular stress from her life. We're looking for a large enough house that we can each have a room, with enough room for offices/game room/etc.  We looked at one that would work, it's got three bedroom, 2 bath upstairs, then a walk out basement with four more bedrooms and a bathroom, kitchen and utility.  We'd live upstairs, have an office upstairs for crafting, office work, etc and a game room downstairs with places to hold game (we have a pen and paper gaming group).    This isn't a sudden decision, we've been kicking it around for years. But we really think that this is the right time.

Those who know me, know my daughter Deanna, if not in person then at least by my tales.  She's going through a tough time right now.  I'm not going to expound on it, but happy, loving and healing thoughts are welcome for her and her husband, Daniel.

The fur kids are still my babies...though I swear if Oscar doesn't learn to chill out when someone drives on the ROAD  outside my house, I'm going to braid his vocal cords!  I had surgery in August, I had a bone spur on my arm and inflamed bursa.  At first it looked like a torn rotator cuff or bicept tendon.  Lucky for me, it wasn't.  They sanded down the spur as it was rubbing on my muscles and tendons and making it hurt to move my arm.  And he removed some inflamed Bursa.  My thanks go to Dr. Sadani of Harrison, Arkansas for the exceptional job he did...and some eye candy on top.

After my surgery I spent three days with Deanna to be "watched", lol.  Taco went with me and the first thing he did was walk OFF the sofa bed and bloody his nose.  He was more shocked than hurt, but I nearly passed out.   I HOLLARED for Deanna and Daniel who came running because of the panic in my voice; they thought *I* had been hurt...  Taco is ok, now.  But I wish it would teach him to pay attention to where he's going. But I doubt it.

Scruffy has a tumor on his side, and it's getting larger.  The vet says it's a benign tumor that we can have removed, but at Scruffy's age (he was born in 2005), we're not going to do it unless it REALLY bothers him.  The risk of anesthesia/surgery/etc is just SO hard on them.  He has started scratching at it, and I'm giving him some mild pain reliever occasionally; if it gets worse, a decision might have to be made.  With Damian, Sassy and Kal gone, Scruffy and Lex are all that's left.

Lex...ahh, my little (!) Piniped........ He got hurt a while back, Scruffy got into it with him and was dragging him under the bed where I couldn't get to them...  I got Lex away from Scruffy, but I guess Scruffy lost a part of a tooth. I THOUGHT it was over...I cleaned it out, it seemed to heal, but it had this hard center....eventually, that popped.....and we found the tooth fragment.  Got him cleaned out and treated and he's fine now...still a little head-shy.  I thought he might have had some sort of TIA or something because pre-pop his entire head was swollen and he seemed blind, or close to it.  The vet xrayed but didn't see anything.  We were going to take him into lance it the next day, but Lex beat us to it, lol

Annie is my little Chain Ganger.  She escapes from any place and thus has to go out on a cable.  She HATES it, but I'll do what I have got to do what ever it takes to keep her safe.She lost a lot of her hair this summer due to a flea infestation...NOTHING killed them!  I swear we used orals, shampoo, dips, powder (organic and chemical) and NOTHING got rid of them.  Even the immediate death pill (Capstar) didn't curtail them.  I'm praying by next flea season we're OUT of here.

The cats are well...KoKo (mom's cat) has settled in perfectly.  Toothless is in LOVE with him...but unfortunately for Toothless, KoKo doesn't swing that way.  One odd thing is that since KoKo moved in, Toothless has decided he "hates" Archangel!  I've got a bottle of water with a little vinegar in it that I use to persuade Toothless to be nice, but Archangel has NO idea why Toothless has turned from the loving brother who brought Archangel.  David is holding his own...his tummy problems and the damage to his rectal muscles mean he has accidents sometimes...but what's a little poop around friends; right?

One change this year is I'm playing Star Wars The Old Republic.  It's a time dump, I guess...but some of the stories are great.  Of course Deanna and Daniel are far more into it than I am.  They've become a vital part of their Guild (a group of people who work with each other for the social aspect).

Mom and I, after looking around a little, have decided to begin playing an online MMRPG together.  I'm going to suggest the SIMS too, but we will see what happens.  So far we're both more frustrated than having fun, but once we learn how to do things, I'm hoping we enjoy it.   If anyone has any suggestion for an online game simple enough our old brains to learn, let me know.

Ok...I've decided to begin asking a question at the end of my blogs.  If you're moved to share your answer, go for it...that's what Comments are for.

Do you believe in the supernatural such as ghosts, portals, ley lines, telepathy, past lives etc?

Annnnnnnnnnndddddddddd GO!

Well....hell.

Long time no write....no excuse, really, just time and desire never seemed to get together.  I'm in a horrible flare thanks to my CRPS (what is that? See my previous post in Feb about it) and on top of the two other "owies" that have developed, my pain level is no longer a 3.  More like a 5; which is far better than before the Pain Pump.


Speaking of Pain Pump, it's closing in on a year since I got mine.  August 3rd 2017 is sorta like a second birthday for me.  It's the day I got my life BACK. So I'm hoping to do something to celebrate that this year.  The ability to have my pain controlled is one of the best gifts I've ever received, second only to the birth of my daughter.  I've hit the "maintence" part of the pump now...we're pretty much where we want to be, though some adjustment is still needed.  The more I'm able to move around, stay out of bed, do things, the more my body hurts; in a good way, but still.  Plus I'm having some pain in my upper left arm and upper left leg, which is so far not diagnosed as we are still doing tests.  So far, after a nerve conduction test, the docs are pretty sure I have either damage to the shoulder joint, or a torn rotator cuff.  It may have been this way for a while, perhaps even years, but this pain was masked by the overwhelming CRPS pain.  The other problem is my left thigh/hip/knee; kinda hard to pin point where it starts.  I'm due to have a second nerve conduction test the 12th on the leg this time.  I can't have an MRI, which is the preferred type of test, because of my spinal cord stimulator, so we have to go old school.  If we can't get a determination from the nerve test, then probably a round of XRays and CT scans.    Reminds me of an old joke....skip if you've heard it.....


"A man brought his cat to the vet after it was hit by a car.  The cat was clearly beyond saving and the Vet put his hand on the man's shoulder and said, "Im sorry Mr Mann, Fluffy has died".  The man was beside himself, how would he tell his wife....his kids!  "Are you sure?  You didn't even do any tests!" the man demanded.   The vet sighed, went to the telephone and a minute later a beautiful black Labrador came into the room, sniffed the cat all over and then sat down and shook his head. 


Still, the man wasn't convinced..."there has to be something else!"  The vet sighed again and went back to the phone and a few second later a kitty came in, sniffed Fluffy all over, sat down and shook his head at the Vet.  Finally convinced there was nothing the man could do, he left Fluffy and went to pay his bill.  :That'll be $650", said the receptionist.  "$650", yelled the man, "How can it be that much when Fluffy was already dead?"  The vet walked in at that point and said, "Well, it would only have been $20, but you demanded LAB tests and a CAT scan"


(Told you it was old)


Anyway, such is life....please don't hit me for that joke....don't shoot the messenger!   On the good (or great) side...Mom has an attorney now.  Thank goddess for this man (I won't mention his name until I get permission).  He's already found out that all the property her ex was so careful to put into his name is marital property since it was filed after the marriage.  And the house they built is one of the few really BIG houses in that area; like 4000sq ft big.  He's already filed the divorce papers and now it's just a waiting game for her estranged husband to file a response.  Mom's attorney said the divorce would take at LEAST 4-6 months and possibly over a year or more if they have to fight for every butter knife....which knowing her ex, I'm sure they will.  After all, he decided that things she owned 40 years before she met him is his, not to mention all the gifts (like her tablet!) that she was given he considers HIS.  He'll fight.  But in the end, (knock on wood) it will all work out for the best. 


Mom and I are looking around at houses, nothing serious, but finding what is out there and learning about neighborhoods and the like, since we are planning to get a house in town when her divorce is final.  She wants to buy a place and has invited me to go with her.  So it looks like mom and I will be living together from now on.  Unless of course, she kills me over my slobby ways.  Yes, she's a clean freak and I'm....well, not.    Anyway.  I was playing around designing houses in my Planner 5D and jokingly said, "Here is our house, Mom!".  We laughed that now we just had to find it.  The next day a new house came on the market (or at least on Zillow) and I swear to you, it is very similar (very very!) to the house I designed.....right down to the bump out windows I put my plan. 


We wanted to go see it, but not going to happen, so we'll just keep on watching the market and trying our best to learn about the neighborhoods in Harrison.  Thanks to Google Earth, we can at least see the outside of them...and most on Zillow have interior pictures.  There isn't a rush yet, though mom has a bit of a timetable at the end of the divorce in regards to her social security and insurance.  But we'll figure it out.....we always do!


Ok, enough for today....though I keep thinking there is something I meant to say and have forgotten.  Today is the day Deanna and DAniel do all the shopping and bill paying, so they are going to be bizzy bees today.  A HUGE thank you out to Daniel  and Deanna for all they do.


Until next time...hit play and don't interrupt your life by pausing!


Marta

Getting Mail...

I LOVE to get things in the mail.  It doesn't matter if it is a free sample or something I've ordered off Amazon.  I'm not sure why it's so exciting, I guess it's a hold over from my childhood.  Periodically I get into phases where I go to these "free sample" sites and get some thing ordered; not always delivered, but most of the time it is.  Then there is Rank Booster and other sites like it.  Basically people with items they are trying to sell offer them up for vastly lowered prices to people on the site.  You get a couple, order the item from Amazon and then write a review, not on Amazon since that can violate the TOS, but on a blog...facebook...Twitter...Google Plus, etc.

I've gotten some cool items for far less than the retail prices.  I just got a 10000mha Power Bank for .10cents, and since I have Amazon Prime, that was all I plaid for it.  It's due to arrive tomorrow, and I'm interested to see it and how it holds up.  I've also gotten things like a BlueTooth speaker for $3, a nice gaming mouse for $4 and screen protectors for my S8+.  They have quite a wide variety of items, from clothes to electronics to pet supplies.  It's a lot of fun to find a "deal" and even more fun to find the package in the mailbox. 

Of course there other options.  There are groups who use some not well known chat programs to offer items to people for a lot less; sometimes as little as FREE.  And not crap either: Bluetooth headphones, clothes, electronic accessories like HDMI splitters and the life.  Tons of stuff, mostly from Chinese sellers who contract with people to offer their products online.   You find the item offered on Amazon, add it to the cart and show them you've got it.  They then send you code(s) for money off the product.  Most times the items are free or under a $.  One woman I know has gotten several thousand dollars of items for less than $100.  Once you use the code, buy the object and have it shipped to you and you receive it, you leave a review on Amazon.  Yeah, I know what I said before about violating the TOS; but if you give an honest review, it doesn't.  Despite it not REALLY violating (yeah, a VERY thin line divides it), if Amazon catches on to what you're doing, they WILL "wipe" your account.  You'll still be able to buy things on Amazon, still can have Prime...but you'll never, ever be able to review again.  And apparently their decision is FINAL; no appeal, no warning.  Do not pass Go, do not ever get to share your experience again.

Amazon explains their actions as "protecting the customers" from possibly false reviews.  They feel that people who receive an item free are likely to give it Five stars, no matter how good or bad the product is.    Of course, then there is the Vine program.  This is Amazon's "secret" little group of reviewers who recieve items for free or no cost and give an "honest and complete review".  The items they receive can vary from a nose hair trimmer, to a new video game system or appliance.  How do you get onto the Vine program?  That's the rub...you can't.  Amazon, in it's infinite wisdom, sends a private, secret invitation based on criteria they haven't made public.  The ONLY way to get on the program is to be invited.  Apparently Amazon can ask for the items back after the review, but they don't, and you have to agree not to sell or make a profit on the items sent to you.   The Vine program members have a badge on their reviews to distinguish them from those "other" reviewers. 

How about you guys?  Anyone have any way to get free/cheap "stuff" off the internet?  I've heard certain sites offer sweepstakes and prizes online are real sites, and have people who leave glowing reports of how they won a Starbucks $5 card; but I've never talked to a person who has won.  But  I guess hope springs eternal...and everyone loves a deal as well as packages in the mail.

Ever see a DOG chase the elusive

Review for Ewarmer 5200mah Power Bank, Portable Charger with Powerful USB Output, Portable... - Marta Towne - Blog Booster

Review for Ewarmer 5200mah Power Bank, Portable Charger with Powerful USB Output, Portable... - Marta Towne - Blog Booster: 5 Star Portable power in your purse



Anyone want some really good deals on things you don't need but are cool and fun?   More blog later.......

You have HOW MANY PETS????

Anyone who has more than one cat or dog (or ferret or bird, or fish, etc...well. maybe not the fish) has heard this question at least a dozen times over the years.  Usually it's accompanied by a shocked expression, wide eyes, occasionally terror and almost always the thought of "Hoarders" moving through their eyes. 

I ran an all animal rescue for 15 years pre-2009.  It started as a Lhasa Apso rescue, then to a ferret and Lhasa, then to "what the hell, bring it in" rescue.  I did adopt many animals out over the years to loving forever homes; and I still hear from some of the families.  But whenever you deal with animals there are those that are unadoptable.  Sometimes it's because of abuse, often it's because of the horror of puppy mills.  But in between those dogs that make your heart sing as you watch them go off with a new mommy and daddy and the ones who break your heart because they just can't be helped is a subsection called "Unadoptable".

Sometimes these babies are unadoptable because they're just DONE with people.  They've been abused, hurt, scared, and used in vile and disgusting ways by humans and they don't care to trust again.  If a dog is aggressive and can't be helped, there is often no choice but to put it down, but if it can be safely managed, it can be listed as non-adoptable and kept for it's life, or until the perfect person jumps up and falls in love.    Then there are the ones who have health issues, disabilities or other issues which mean that just anyone isn't going to be able, or want to, deal with for the life of the animal.  Though some special people WILL adopt from these lists...

I guess unadoptable is not the right word, closer would be "Adoptable to Special People".

Anyway, that tangent was to explain this one.  I have four dogs and three cats.  Or three and a half dogs, as one is only 3 lbs.  ALL the dogs, and one of the cats are remainders of the rescue.  You think 4 is a lot of dogs?  Five years ago, before my babies began to die from old age and their medical issues, I had TEN dogs; most small dogs.  Does it take a lot of time and care? Yes.  Will I have them all long? I don't think so. Scruffy is 13, Lex is 12, Annie is between 11 and 13, depending.  All of them are suffering from the pains of age, just like I am.  We commiserate a lot.  The three pound dog I was telling you about was actually my last official rescue before I just couldn't do it anymore. He's about 5-8.   And Oscar was taken in from a family that just couldn't keep him anymore, so I guess he's a rescue, but I know his history.  

The cats aren't nearly as old, except David.  David is 11 years old, and one of the two cats I CHOSE to have.  The other chosen cat is my black cat Toothless who came from my daughter's rescue cat who came preggers.  Arch Angel was under my house until he was drawn up though a hole in the floor under the sink by Toothless. 

Now, before I get roasted, I don't advise people to take in this many animals.  You should never take in more than you can care for and that means vet care, food, shots, lisc if necessary without causing you to go without food.  If I had my choice, I have one or two dogs and one or two cats MAX.  BUT, I made my true choice all those years ago when I took these guys in.  I promised to love and care for them until the end of their lives; and I will.  I will be there at the end, if possible for every single one of them, holding them in my arms and whispering how thankful I am that they were in my life.  How much I love them, and how much fun they will have at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for me.  

I guess in the end, they ALL will break your heart. 

Life update

"May you live in interesting times"  An old Chinese curse...or maybe blessing, at least that's what I've heard.  This last couple of weeks has proven that well.


First of all, my mom had a pain pump implanted on the 2nd of March.  Like me, she felt it was the best and only chance to get both pain relief and out of this "opiod war/War on Drugs/Chronic Pain Patients"  Her surgery went well and she went to my daughter's house (aka Club Bowen) for three days until her first post surgical meeting when they put her medication into her pump and turned it on.  Everything went ok that day, including the drive home which was hilarious.  Apparently "there were sharks and the cats were walking on water and chasing the sharks".  We stopped at WalMart and asked if she wanted anything and the comments were a bit garbled, but "I'm not functional" was clear as a bell. 


At any rate, we went to take her home and her estranged husband had locked the gate leading to the home he had abandoned for his new girlfriend; but my mother had been living there.  There was even an agreement that she would move out as soon as she found somewhere to move and they would leave her alone and NOT lock her out.  Her estranged husband was verbally abusive; spitting, snarling...he reminded me of the Tasmanian Devil.  We called the cops and they went to talk to him, but of course, he was no where to be found...I guess he doesn't really want the cops around.  '


So...mom went back to Club Bowen and tried to find a) An attorney and B) somewhere to live.  So far, she'd found neither. 


ANY ONE KNOW A GOOD ATTORNEY WHO TAKES PRO BONO CASES?  If you do, email or comment me. 


My mom is nearly 70, in bad health and recovering from surgery.  She got locked out of her home THREE DAYS AFTER SURGERY, and when asked where she should go, he estranged husband said he didn't care.  She got a meeting with the housing authority and it looks like eventually she will have a voucher.  But not for a while and Deanna's lease specifies no more than two people living in their home.  Meanwhile, I live in a two bedroom house.  The second bedroom was mostly storage, there is only one bathroom and the house has a LOT of issues.  On the other hand, it beats a bridge. 


SO we fixed the room up and Mom, her little dog Starr and her cat CoCo moved in here.  So far, so good...there have been a few issues; when I get frustrated I snap...when she gets frustrated she cries.  I hate it when someone cries and she hates to be snapped at.  BUT, the animals are getting along. I have 4 1/2 dogs (one is 3lb, he only counts as 1/2) and three cats.  (More on the critters in another post)  Her little Min Pin Starr has a habbit of snarling at the other when they get too close to her mom, but she's getting better every day.  And surprisingly my only female, Annie, immediately adopted Starr and Mom and decided that mom's room was the "Girls room/Girls Only"  The boys don't agree, but hey...things work out. 


Mom is a clean freak...I'm...well, NOT a clean freak though I've been getting better.  Mom has to deal with no closet (there is only one in the house), and none of her furniture except her bed (not the complete bed, just the base and mattress), but so far so good.... 


We've been talking about making this permanent, and it has a lot of plusses.  Lower bills for me, half the rent, a little money for my own every month...and company.  It's looking good at this point...


Besides, she's a HELL of a house cleaner!  She's gotten more done even recovering from surgery than I have in weeks.  And she cleans the cat box every day...the cats might strike if she leaves!


Sometimes "interesting times" is a blessing.

Simulated Horse Racing.

I love horses, I always have. I've been blessed in my life to have three wonderful horses of my own and to train several others.  I especially love Arabs, but any and all horses are special to me.  As some of you know, I have a large collection of "plastic ponies" from Breyer, Stone, Schleich and other manufacturers.  I have a few more expensive resin horses, but most of mine are plastic.  I have in excess of 1000 counting every size from Stablemate (1:12) to traditional (1:9, I think).  I have most of them packed away because I simply have NO WHERE to show them off. At one point, on the Mountain, I had them all displayed on a multitude of shelves around my mobile home...Deanna says those little black eyes give her the creeps even remembering them.  The only room growing up that wasn't full of shelves and horses was her bedroom and bathroom. 


Anyway, what is a horse lover to do when they want a hobby involving horses, but has no room, or in my case, no more room?  She finds SIMULATED ALL BREED HORSE RACING.  Yes it is what it sounds like....I have paper ponies, everything from US Arabs, to Polish Arabs, to Appaloosa, Paint and of course Quarter Horses.  I've been in this hobby for longer than I care to put a number too (though 2001 is the start I think), but I have breaks, some as long as a few years.  I always find my way back, however and I always love it, even when I have no time for a life, let alone a hobby. 


How does it work, you ask?  Well, if you're really interested you can go check out the website at www.theexpress.itgo.com.  Basically, all our paper ponies trace back to real horses; horses that, usually, raced in real life.  We "breed" them, which is not nearly as weird as it sounds (ok, maybe it is), by finding a stud and mare and creating a pseudo foal.  Gender is random, colors, pattern, etc are decided by DNA.  Trust me when I tell you, those in the simulated racing are better at DNA than many real breeders.  There is another group, that I used to be apart of, International Pedigree and Bloodlines Research Associations (www.ipabra.org) that "breeds" all breeds, from SHetland Pomies to Shire Draft horses.  But I digress.


ONce you have created your "Foal" you name it and register it with the group.  The one realistic lacking thing many do is decide on the breeding, name, color etc in one sitting.  So if I want to start r acing my horse, I'll make him born in 2015.  That's 3 years old and ready to start racing.    And yes, folks, we have a database thanks to a VERY wonderful and knowledgeable member, which as every horse ever registered in the express. 


So now I have a (filly) born in 2015 from two real race horses or one or more simulated horses.  Say "My Horse" is it's name.  Now what do I do with her?  That's where the fun really begins.


Some members of the hobby hold the race meets.  Bless them, without the stewards there would be no hobby.  They post the types of races (Maiden, Allowance, distance, etc) and open them up for entries.  Distances are, once again, based on real races.  Most stock horses run in yards (220-870), except Appaloosas which can run in yards, but many stewards use furlongs (1 Furlong is 220y).  Arabs, domestic or other race in meters on turf (T) or dirt.  .  You find the race you think your horse would fit.  Say it's her first race, so enter her in a Maiden race. If her sire won at 870y and her dam at 550y you can try one of those distances, or if their not offered a different distance completely.  Say I decide to enter My Horse in a maiden 550y race because that's where her dam won.  Most stewards use "fake money" in their meets, which help when you look at how successful (or not) the horses are.  


So, now you've selected your race, it's time to create the "race card".  That basically includes all the info a steward uses to run the simulated races.  See, these are not "draw the winner from a hat";  this is a comparison of horses in the race based on certain criteria which is specific to each steward, but often includes past races, his sire and dam and any full or half siblings records and other other deicions such as luck rolls.  Usually the stewards does the scoring without looking at which horse owners or breeder to remove any idea of favoritism. 


ONce the Steward has scored EACH AND EVERY HORSE ENTERED in each race (there are sometimes 20 horse entered in Race 1, which means splitting the pack up into R1A and R1b, etc.  And there are usually between 6 and 10 different races with different criteria.   Yeah, you see why I say bless stewards?  Running a meet is a LOT of work.  Then you compare the horses score.  Say My Horse has a 4 in parents background and Their HOrse has a 5, at the first turn, their horse is ahead of mine.  Each criteria is compared with all horses and the total s are the  end result.  So My Horse ends up with 14 points and Their horses ends up with 12.  My horse got to the wire first, usually by 1 or 2 lengths. (horse body lengths).   So I have a winner.  Next time My Horse races, it will be in an allowance, around the same distance and if she's racing a non winner, she'll have an extra point. 


And that's how Simulated Horse Racing works.  It sounds complicated, but despite everything, when you have a horse that won by 4 lengths with a wire to wire leading of the pack to victory, it's a shot of joy and energy.    Horses can race as long as they are sound in real life, of course our horses can always be found.  BUT most people retire their horses about 5-8 for mares and stallions and a bit longer for gelding.  Why, you ask?  Realism, once again, is paramount.  For some that means rolling each meet or year or whatever to see if the horses stay sound.   


What happens to your newly retired My Horse who has won 6 out of 7  races including a couple of high paying, impressive "Stakes" races.  So you have a mare, 5 years old, 7 races, 6 wins and a second with a winnings in excess of a $100,000.7(6-1-0-0) MGMSW $250000.)      You breed her, of course.  Find a real stallion or someone in the hobbymates paper stallion you think would work well with My Horse, ask the owner of the paper stallion for a "breeding" and create that foal as you did My Horse.  Random gender, color and markings based on their genetics...come up with a name...(Your Stallion X My HOrse) Colt Studly McStud)and the entire process starts over.




SO...that's my hobby.  It sounds complicated and confusing, but it's really fun and enjoyable.  Questions?  Hit my comments or drop me a line.

Short Post...long excuse list

Things are changing this week.    My mother was kicked out of her house by her estranged husband; well, actually she left for surgery and he refused to allow her back in.   She stayed with my daughter the weekend after surgery, then we went to take her home monday after her post surgical appointment and her estranged husband had locked the gate and refused to allow her back on .  HE ended up getting nasty and beligerant with DEanna, so we left down the road and called the cops.   The sherriff was nice and tried to help, but his hands were tied.  She does have the right to go back into her home, but she's terrifided of him as he has abused her mentally and verbally and his abundance of firearms.   So she went to deannas home for a while.

Did I mention that she has been filing applications for apartments and the housing authority?  Well, she has.  But be that as it may, Deanna and Channon's son had an agree to have he out within 2 months and they wouldn't harrass her or stop her from going home.  Not sure if the boy was lying to Deanna, or was over ridden by his father; either way, my mother has no where to go...and until we can get her stuff, she has nothing. 

Since I have a second bedroom, I've offered to have her stay with me.  I don't anticipate any issues, and barring that, she could just stay here rather than finding a new place.  MIght help both of us.

The only real problem may come between mom's dog Star and Annie, my only girl.  Both of them are older and spayed, so maybe we won't have huge issues.

Anyway...I started this Sat morning and it's now 9:34 pm.  I went to Deanna's for the afternoon, and dinner.  THUMBS UP DANIEL!  The corned beef was to DIE for.    Now my tummy is full, it's time to bolus and bed.  LOL

Catch you on the next one....

Adults needing "Safe Places" to avoid "triggers"....What?!?!?!

Ok, I gotta ask:  What is this thing about "Triggers" and protecting ADULTS from them?  Safe rooms with pillows to cuddle and soft music?  Not having a speaker at a college or university because they may "trigger" students to be s ad? 


Excuse me? Did I miss something?   Like a plague that cause otherwise normal human beings into helpless, whiny brats?    Now before people go commenting about PTSD, and emotional baggage, etc, etc, etc, I know all about them.  Depression, Bi Polar, Anxiety, chronic pain...those I am very familiar with . And the best way to treat them and reduce their stranglehold on a person is treatment and coming to grips with it.  Medication, talk therapy, cognitive reasoning, all those very helpful and proven effective methods. 


Let's start with "triggers".  A trigger is something that cause an otherwise sane and rational adult into a thumb sucking child.  Or something like that.  And the world around the HAS to accommodate them and not allow the trigger to happen.  Huh?  Rather than being something  that the person WITH the sensitivity has to deal with, it becomes everyone else problem.  What happened to dealing with things and if necessary, and you aren't ready AVOIDING the situation yourself.?  Why does everyone else have to change their lives, or not be exposed to something just because it "triggers" someone to remember a bad event and be sad?  PTSD is hard to handle, ask any Vet.  But we don't outlaw helicopters because the sound can trigger a flash back in a vet.  So why eliminate a class or uninvited a speaker or whatever because it might effect someone. This is not a society problem, this is a YOU problem...and the only one who can help you deal with and overcome the situation.

How about "safe places".  And I'm not talking about battered women's shelters and protective places against violence; those are very important and underfunded.  I'm talking about a college or work place having to keep a room for students, employees, whatever to go to when they are triggered or feeling bad.  I've seen these rooms filled with soft colors, gently music, pillows, stuffed toys...even kittens and puppies to snuggle.  I don't get it...I always thought you were supposed to make your home a safe place and just deal with things in the manner of an adult and not like a toddler who needs "mr binkie" and a cuddle.


I just read about a University who cancelled a very controversial and interesting speaker because some of some of the students protested because it could "trigger" some students and cause trauma.   Granted, it's been 20 some years ago, but when I went to college it was all ABOUT challenging me and my view points.  Triggering me to think about things, even traumatic things, and learn that not everyone feels the same way I do.  College was about expanding your mind AND your world and that can't happen if you're not "Triggered" to find out WHY it bothers you so much.,  and how it needs to be address so it DOESN'T.   YOU changed to fit the college and society...it didn't change to fit you. 


I've had shitty things happen to me. I've been raped, sexually harassed, attacked, molested as a child.  I've had traumas and life events that stained my soul and took part of my heart.  But that is MY BAGGAGE TO DEAL WITH.  Not the rest of you, not society, not University; MINE.  And snuggling a pillow while listening to Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra and having a woman stroke my hair for $15 an hour is NOT the way to deal with things that upset me. 


Although...a room with kitties to pet whenever I want?  That might be a keeper.

Two steps forward, one back....

Well....hell.  I was doing SO good.  I went to lean over and pick up something I dropped and my bad (of course) foot got causght on my foot stand and I twisted my knee but GOOD.   My pain jumped from a 3 to a 7 and I thought I was going to CRY.  OF course, being my bad foot, you'd think I'd cut it off, and then I had to rub my right knee with Voltaren Gel, which is an anti-imflametary gel.  Of course, since both my knees have CRPS in them, it would have been painful on either, but this is my BAD leg...the leg that took CRPS home from the bar and introduced him to our body and immune system and like a bad date with an STD, CRPS never left and he's traveled through others.  Stupid analogy, I know...but hey, I'm ouchie here!


Anyway...rubbing down my knee with Voltaren was like torture, but hopefully I got it quickly enough and this is just a minor set back that will be better by tomorrow.  For those of you who don't know, CRPS causes the nerves to see every stimuli as pain.   So rubbing gel gently on my knee was like rubbing acid missed with sand and rocks into it.  Taking a shower? Think of getting shot with birdshot, soaked in hot sauce.  It hurts...it burns...it takes everything spoon I have to get through it.  I remember loving a nice, hot shower....ah, memories.  And of course, I'd bloused an hour before that...I'm hoping the Voltaren and another bolus in a few minutes will get my pain back down from the 5.5-6 it's currently running. 


One of the things I've been trying to do since the surgery while my pain has been lower is go through items and thiungs I've "collected" over the years.   DEspite better control of the pain, which is a blessing, I know the physical manifestations of all this doesn't go away.  I'll probably never walk again and almost certainly I will never walk unaided.  But maybe I can get out of bed and into my chair by myself someday...that's a goal. 


Ok...well I've run out of spoons for today, so I'm going to end this blog and watch some television, 


Everyone take care  of yourselves and I hope the next few days are healthy, happy and comfortable...for my Chronic Pain family, a low pain day and something fun to do.

New Blog...CRPS...Life Interrupted

Ok, I've tried this whole blog thing since 2013....and every time I start with good intentions and a desire to do this...and then I forget,  and by the time I remember, it just seems like too much to tackle.  Sooooooooo........Life Interrupted.
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As many of you know I'm a Chronic Pain Patient.  I have a condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, which is also known as Reflex Sympathetic Dystroyphy.   I developed this debilitating condition after a work related injury in 1992, and unlike many of my fellow sufferers, I was diagnosed with in six months by the UC Davis Pain CLinic in California; many diagnosis take years.  Years of burning, unrelenting pain that never goes away. 

What is CRPS?  I can give you links to specific places that represent us;  https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/Patient-Caregiver-Education/Fact-Sheets/Complex-Regional-Pain-Syndrome-Fact-Sheet  http://www.rsdhope.org/  http://www.rcdom.org/what-is-rsd-crps/rsdcrps-facts/

In general, CRPS is the result of a sympathetic nervous system (the one that controls the bodies flight or fight reactions) misfires and misinterprets every imput as PAIN.  There are indications that the Central and peripheral nervous systems may also be malfunctioning. What does it feel like?  It burns...put your hand in ice water for a minute, feel that icey burn? Yea...now imagine that which NEVER STOPS.  There are temperature changes, color changes, edema, blood vessel abnormalities (and in many cases changes to hair growth in the effected limb...)  In most cases, the initial suggestion of CRPS is made when the pain from an injury doesnt get better and seems to hurt more than it should.  According to the McGill Pain Index, which is a widely accepted as the most reliable index, CRPS sits at 45 out of 50.  That makes it, according to the scientists, more painful than unplanned traumatic amputation, cancer, child birth and most other.  It is THE most painful chronic condition that exists, according to McGill; it's the original "suicide disease".

And if that's not enough, IT CAN SPREAD.  What started in the joint of my right big toe (yes, Deanna Bowen, I'm the only person who can stub their toe and get a permanent disability) and spread over the years to the entire right leg/hip/back.  Then an injury to my LEFT knee cause it to jump over and start spreading.  It can spread for NO reason, though mine has spread almost every time based on an injury, however slight or severe. It's now in my left arm as well, and perhaps in my left shoulder.  And it can (and has in my case) affected my internal organs. 

While CRPS is considered RARE, that just means there are less than 200,000 people diagnosed with the disease, and the diagnosis is very difficult.  There is no one, AH HA test for it.   Mostly it's a diagnosis by exclusion in which other things are eliminated until you get down to this.  It also effects the immune system and there is indication it may be an autoimmume disorder. 

NOw, if you're gotten past that book, here is why I wanted to address it.  When I was first diagnosed I was told I'd be in a wheelchair with in 6 months.  I had a 2 year old child, that wouldnt' work for me.  In fact, it was 18 years before I got a wheelchair at all, and then I only used it when I HAD too.  It wasn't until after knee surgery in 2009 that I wound up in this chair.  The pain would cause my legs to stop responding to my brain and I'll fall, and I honestly just couldn't stand the pain of bearing weight anymore, even on the pain medication I was on.  Since then, my muscles have atrophied and the continued pain has meant I'll probably be in this chair for the duration. 

NOW, for the GOOD NEWS.  I was on Fentynal and Oxycodone and robaxin last year after tying pretty much every non-narcotic and narcotic meds there is.  I've been on pain meds for over 20 years to treat the CRPS and other conditions I've devloped.  With the current "war on opiods" (aka "lets kill off the disabled and weak and blame it on them when they had NOTHING to do with it") I was tired of being judged, threatened, etc.  Don't EVEN need the ER (like, for a heart attack, which I did) because once the ER sees CHRONIC PAIN, they immediately think you're out to scam them out of narcotics; no matter that you already have far stronger drugs at home and never asked for pain control.   SO, my Pain Management doctor and I discussed the options of a pain pump.  In the past, the pumps hadn't been as reliable and safe as I wanted; now, they are much more reliable and safer.  SO, we started the process January 2017.  I finally went into surgery for implantation Aug 3 2017.

Once the pump is installed, you have to go in to the doctor to have the medication adjusted until you find the dosage that's right for you. It's a process that can take weeks or even months in some cases.  I've had a couple of set backs and a catherter (the tube that carries the medication from teh pump to the intrathecal space) revision, but after my last adjustment, I'm thrilled to say I've finally reached the pain level that I set as my goal.  I know that I'll never be pain free, but on a scale of 1-10, my pain is running a 3-4 which is better than it's been n 25+ years.   a THREE!  OMG, that is like a miracle for me.  For me, 10 is unconscious from pain, and 1 is a torn muscle, I'm at a 3.  Now, granted, pain is a personal thing.  But my goal was to get to a 3 most times while keeping my bolus (an extra dose used for breakthrough with a PTM remote) down to 3-4 a day (I'm allowed 8 a day or 1 every 3 hours)

I know it's not a cure I'm still in pain, and the smallest thing can set my CRPS into a flare that reaches a 8-9 and sometimes a 9.5 and I'll probably never be able to safely walk again.  BUT I'm off all the patches and pills...I've even managed to stop taking the ambien for sleep....and I'm sleeping well without it. 

So, for those (if any) that managed to get to the end of this novel, THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND SUPPORT.  This has really given me my life back....I'm even trying ot clean the house, though I'm still doing without a regular fridge, I have a heater and pain low enough to start development.