I'm sitting here typing this while watching a reborn silicone baby box opening on the IPad with the TV in the background and wondering what to say.  Thursday I said goodbye to my little Sexy Lexy,  my 13 year old dog.  His name was actually Lex Luther, and along with his brother Kal El were my terror twins.  Born in 2007, they were the puppies of our "house-elf" deer headed Chihuahua Sassy and Deanna's furry little boy, Damien.  Damien was only 9 months old when Sassy got pregnant; we always said she raped him, since from that moment, he never turned his back on her.....he was obviously not "into it".  LOL.   

Damien was Min PIn, Chihuahua and terrier of some sort, so the boys were just mutts. 

At any rate, Sassy had three puppies, the two boys and a female, who passed away within a week.  ALl three puppies were brindle colored and there was just something not right with any of them.  Once the female passed away, the two boys became the Terror Twins...and boy were they!  

Kal was the smarter of the two...Lex was one of the sweetest, most polite dogs you'd ever meet...but he was obviously NOT a rocket science.  Kal was the leader and Lex just followed along, sweet and happy if not very bright.  They were never seperated; even when I took them in to be neutered, they weighed the exact same thing, 12.2lbs.  THe vet's office thought that was hilarious.  

When the boys were young, they had this stuffed elephant.  THe boys LOVED that Elephant....in the most BIBLICAL sense......that elephant was GROSS.  They literally "LOVED" it to death....  they would take turns with it, no fighting between them.  Eventually I had to get rid of the elephant...so the boys stole Paul's pink poodle Deanna got him for valentines day!  I'm not sure what happened to that poodle.....

Kal developed diabetes in about 2014/5 and passed away, and you have never seen a dog look so lost.  Lex just had NO idea what to do without his brother.  He tried to latch onto Scruffy, but Scruffy got very aggressive wtih him; at one point Scruffy grabbed Lex by the head and ear and tried to drag him under the bed where I couldn't save him.  I thought Lex was a gonner, but despite developing an absess from a tooth buried in his HEAD.  

WHen mom moved in with me, she discovered how polite Lex was.  Not used to having anyone else around teh house, Lex headed into the bathroom to go outside and interrupted her using the toilet.  Lex froze, shifted a little from one foot to another and she swears he looked at her like "OH!  So Sorry.....I'll just wait my turn over here.....".

When we moved in here with Daniel and Deanna, I was living in one small room with Scruffy, Lex, Annie, Taco and Oscar.  For whatever reason, Oscar grew angry at Lex and attacked him, twice.  I was trying so hard to get him off Lex.  Oscar is a hound dog and about 60lbs.  He grabbed Lex around the chest, picked him up and shook him.  I was trying to get a hold of Oscar, but everytime  he'd release LEx, Lex would try to rush past him and Oscar would grab him again.  It was terrifying,  and it happened twice.  I ended up having to give Oscar to Deanna....there were just too many of us in too small a room.      

Lex had a bad last few months, about 9 months ago he developed some kind of psoriasis, most likely some kind of auto immune or skin disease.  His skin became leathery and he scratched himself raw, leading to secondary infections.  HE lost all his fur, and itched horribly, so he had to wear a cone of shame.  His skin was so bad...once I got the secondary infections clear up, it was a matter of changing his Tee shirt every night and looking over him carefully, applying Triple ANtibiotic ointment to any place that looked suspect.   HE was miserable, but he was still my sweet, loving little Lex.  

Then Thursday, he woke up and went outside, he pooped and wandered around the yard a little in the sunshine, then came back inside for breakfast.   He ate well, warm water over his dry food to soften it, he loved it soft.  He went back outside and wondered a little more, then came back inside went to his den and napped, came out to sleep in teh doggie bed he adored, and spent the afternoon relaxing.  Later that evening, I pulled his cone off so he could have a little break from it, and he went into his den to take a nap before dinner....I found him when i went to feed them, he took a nap and woke up in time for dinner at the Rainbow Bridge with his brother, sister, Mommy and Daddy and all the furbabies we've lost.  There must have been a HUGE meal there...I can almost hear them barking.   

Maybe in the future I'll share some other stories of Lex  I know this is an odd post, but I'm just getting used to the new normal once more.    Someday I'll tell you'all some other stories, the Terror Twins more than earned their names! lOL.  

But for now, Rest IN Piece Little Sexxy Lexxy....until we meet again.  

Changes...ebb and flow of life.

 Life is like the ocean. It ebbs and flows, rises and falls; nothing stays in the same place, everytime a wave comes in, sand is pulled out, and other sand is deposited in it's place.  Just when I thought things were smooth sailing, another storm rolls in.  

When mom and I moved in with Deanna and Daniel, I thought it was going to be the beginning of a new era.  We were going to buy a house, live together...oh I knew there were going to be fights, arguments, head butting...but I thought that at least we were all on the same page regarding the future.  THen the thing came up between Deanna and mom.  Those two are like oil and water...they just can't get along.   I'm not going to get back into that, but it was a huge blow up.  But even through that, I thought at least the rest of us were solid.  

Of course I also knew that Daniel and I were like oil and water.  But I thought that we couldn't at least tolerate each other since we both love Deanna.  Goddess help me, I have tried to get along....I've bitten my tongue until it's hamburger (a great job since I have no teeth!).  I'm given in on everything...rules that make no sense, dealing with hurt feelings on my own, trying to stay away from them as much as possible.  I've given up things I loved, given up doing things I love...  I've dealt with being treated like I'm 100% the problem and through it all I've tried like hell to keep my mouth shut and not fight back.  That is not easy on me, believe that!  

ONe of the hardest things is feeling completely not respected, nor having everything I've done for this "family" appreciated.  It seems like nothing I do is appreciated; and I feel like I do a lot.  I feel like I ask for little to nothing, do everything possible to get along and show appreciate for what IS done for me, and try not to let the lack of actions hurt me.  

And yet; nothing seems to be enough.  I'm not appreciative enough, I don't give enough, I ask for too much...  I'm not saying I'm perfect, nor that I have no fault, I do.  Part of my problem is that my expectations were not in anyway matching Deanna and Daniel's expectations.    I thought we were a family of three, not a couple and me.   But like the waves, new changes are flowing in...  and like no one can stand against the ocean, no one can stand against change.

Deanna thinks she and I are too co-dependant on each other and we need to work to living apart.  Don't get me wrong, I've lived alone and I'm fine going back to that.  But further information, Deanna thinks her worrying about me is unhealthy, and so is talking to her everyday when we live separate.  I had no idea that she considered worrying about someone you love is a bad thing.  Did we talk a lot on the phone when I lived alone?  Yes.  But I thought it was because she wanted to; that it was because she enjoyed talking to me.  Not that she felt it was because she felt she HAD too talk to me, or that she thought I was in danger.  

So.  Now what?  Well, first of all, I have to get over it, deal with the new normal.  I'm going to start making myself a priority FOR MYSELF.  If I am no one elses priority, I need to make myself a priority.  I want to move to Washington State still, which has been a thought for a while.  Originally, we were going to go in together and buy a house with a mother in law area. However, now i'm looking at other places.  Maybe a mobile home in a 55+ or low income park;  A little one bedroom, or even a two bedroom mobile home in a park.  Or maybe just a low income apartment.  ANywhere I can have a pet, at least.  

So anyway...life's ebb and flow, waves of change like water, plans old and new....changes.  

Trying a new type of snack...#GoMacro #MomsMeet #ProteinsDecadence #proteinpleasure

 I've recently found companies that offer legitimate (means real!) product testing and I have to say, I've gotten some REALLY cool look out of it.  Some of the companies require a non-disclosure agreement, so I can't talk about those.  But others are far more concerned with showcasing their products.  One such company is "Mom's Meet" located at   https://momsmeet.com/ .  After signing up and filling out my profile, I waited "patiently" (Hey!  I did!  but only because I had no idea I was expecting anything!

So...what I received were products with which to hold a "virtual sampling party".  They give you a link to instructions on how to handle this,  which I can share the link too. 

Ok, now that the "how to"s are out of the way, let's talk about the items that were sent for me to send out.  The company name is GoMacro and the main product is a high protein Macrobar  in peanut butter and chocolate chip.  I was a little leery, especially after reading the company/product sheet.  

GoMacro was started by a mother/daughter team who created a sustainable, plant based diet to help the mom, Amelia, recover from breast cancer.   Amelia's daughter, Jola, adopted the diet to support her mother, initially, but found it helped her own vitality and health.  So GoMacro was formed to share the secret with the world.

I actually received two 12 packs of the PB and Chocolate Chip and a separate 4 pack box of PB and chocolate chip "protein pleasure".  In addition, they sent me a 4 pack retail box of "protein decadence", dark chocolate and almond.  I have to say, my initial reaction was...shall we say less than positive?  According to the information I received with the bars, the protein pleasure contains 11 grams of plant based protein.  IN addition, they are certified Organic, vegan, gluten free, kosher, non-GMO, C.L.E.A.N, R.A.W. and soy-free.  But in my opinion, they are certainly NOT taste free!  I was a bit surprised, actually, but these are really, really good!  Now I havn't eaten the dark chocolate and almond (hey, I'm a member off the Toothless Coalition...almond enjoying days are WAY behind me) but my daughter assures me they are most certainly good!  I think she enjoyed the DC&A more than the PB&CC.  And that's fine, more for me.  

One other very important issue...GoMacro also prides itself on using 100% renewable energy, including solar and wind energy.  So, good for the environment, good for you, good taste, good for small business, good for women owned business....what more can you ask? 

Interested in trying these?  You can get them on Amazon, Walmart or other retailers. They run about $8.99 for 4 bars.  A little expensive, but these can be meal replacement bars as well as a healthy snack.  If you're on the go, especially if you've got kids, dogs, or a busy schedule, these are really handy.  And did I mention GOOOD?  Yea?  I guess I did..

Im going to give some links down here to not only the product page, but the Mom's Meet page.   If anyone is interested in links to other Best Testing/Product Testing sites, let me know in the comments and I'll write a post specifically about these programs.                                                                                                                              

Oh....Hai....How long have you been waiting?

Did you ever close your eyes for "just a minute" and open them hours later going "what the F**K happened?".  Yeah.  That.  Times YEARS. 

So much has changed, I don't even remember what was happening the last time I blogged....nor can I think of a reason that anyone will care what I write about in my blog.  BUT, I WANT TO BLOG DAGNABBIT!

So....let me catch you up...  No, it's too much, maybe I'll catch you up later.  Right now, let me update as to standing. 

I live with my daughter Deanna and her husband Daniel.  Daniel is my caregiver since Deanna's medical condition  has changed.  Deanna has finally gotten a diagnosis for her collections of symptoms and has begun to adjust to living with a permanent condition that will most likely will NOT improve...the best she can hope for, according to the doctors, is not to get a lot worse.  The condition is no fatal, but can be very dangerous.  She has been diagnosed with Glaucoma which is actually a SYMPTOM of the real disease; Increased Intercranial Hypertension .  Basically, there is too much CSF (Cranial Spinal Fluid) around her brain and through her intrathecal space and that makes the pressure in her head climb to highly dangerous.  She can have a stroke, aneurysm....basically she could die if the pressure climbs any higher.  The IIH has caused her optic nerve to be compressed to the point that it is paper thin and nearly invisible.  That raises the pressure in her eyes  which has caused her to begin going blind, starting with the loss of her peripheral vision.

More on that and other updates medical later. 

More positive updates...Animal Crossing New Horizon!  Feel free to send me an ema4526nd we'll arrange to meet up somewhere.  Or check out my  Dream Address DA-5685-6067-1169.  My Island is Shadow Isle.   I have Pierce, Cheri, Tex, Dizzy, Simon, Diana, Diva, Ed, Spike and Skye.  (shoot me a friends request!)

The Express....still active.  Right now, I've stepped back from the STBs and found homes for the racers,  I'm concentrating on my Non-US Arabs (French, Polish, UK), American Arabs and my Stock horses.  The goal is to keep a small, successful string of each breed racing and breed enough keep replacing my retiring racers and selling some to keep the bloodlines active. 

eBay:  This is new.  Since moving in with Deanna and Daniel, it's become clear that I have to streamline my stuff.  So, I started with my model horses.  I've gotten it down to about 50 Classic to Traditionals.  I have another 100-200 SM models, that I'm keeping thus far).  So I started selling them on Ebay.  Now I've started picking items up at situations such as thrift stores, Walmart Clearance, etc. and selling them on my eBay store Bowen Towne Treasures.  

Pokemon Go:  Still playing, just not as much

Writing: Started writing a new ...err...book? ...story?  It's an original character story with a fresh plot.  A ghost story, if you will.  Every decision you make creates a new life line,  so what happens if a choice you once made comes back to you in a different life?  More later ? Maybe. 

Ok...so anyway, I'm going to kick back and relax for a while.  I want to work on my Animal Crossing....

I'll be back....soon.  Or not.  Maybe...  LOL.